What are incels and why should we care?

What Does “Incel” Mean?

An “incel,” short for “involuntary celibate,” generally refers to someone (often a man) who can’t form romantic or sexual connections, despite wanting to. But incel culture has grown beyond this simple definition. Online, incel forums have evolved into spaces where frustration, bitterness, and even hostility toward women and relationships thrive. Understanding the roots of the incel movement and its impact sheds light on how loneliness, rejection, and online echo chambers are influencing today’s dating and social culture.

Where Did Incel Culture Start?

The term "incel" was coined in the ’90s by a Canadian woman named Alana. She wanted a safe online space where people struggling with relationships could feel less alone. However, over time, the term “incel” took on new life in male-dominated forums, where frustration with rejection became a breeding ground for anger and blame. Today, these online communities often hold negative views on dating, women, and society at large.

What Do Incels Believe?

Incels often categorise people into “Chads” (attractive, successful men), “Stacys” (women who date “Chads”), and the rest. Many believe that the world unfairly values looks, status, and confidence, viewing themselves as victims of “lookism” (a bias toward attractiveness) and “hypergamy” (the idea that women only date “up” for status). This belief system fuels bitterness, creating a culture that feels rejected and mistreated by societal standards.

Misogyny and the Dark Side of Incel Communities

A deeply concerning element of the incel movement is the intense misogyny prevalent in many online incel communities. Many members feel that women have too much control over relationships, blaming them for their lack of romantic success. This anger has, in tragic cases, led to violent incidents, such as the 2014 Isla Vista tragedy, where an incel supporter expressed his frustrations in a violent attack. This event underscored the risks associated with unchecked anger and hate in incel communities.

The Role of Online Echo Chambers in Incel Culture

Incels often turn to online echo chambers that amplify their feelings of isolation and resentment. These forums create a closed-off environment that discourages real-world connections or positive change, instead reinforcing negative thoughts and even fostering anger toward others. Research shows that online echo chambers can intensify feelings of victimhood, making it harder to break out of negative cycles.

Mental Health and the Incel Identity

A lot of incels face mental health challenges like depression, low self-esteem, and social anxiety, compounded by economic struggles and a lack of support. Incel communities validate their feelings of inadequacy and anger, providing a sense of belonging in a toxic environment. The pressure to meet masculine ideals of attractiveness or dominance often leaves incels feeling hopeless and frustrated, unable to reach what they perceive as the standards of modern dating.

Addressing Incel Culture: What Can Be Done?

Addressing incel culture and its impact on society isn’t simple, but it starts with understanding why people turn to these communities in the first place. Solutions could include limiting harmful content online and fostering positive conversations about dating, mental health, and self-worth. Promoting healthy relationship skills in schools and social groups can empower young people to manage rejection, resilience, and respect. Platforms can also reduce toxic content and support constructive discussions that foster empathy and self-growth.

Why Should We Care About Incel Culture?

The incel phenomenon reflects broader social issues: loneliness, mental health challenges, and the effects of toxic online communities. Addressing the root causes of incel beliefs helps society promote healthier views on relationships, self-worth, and empathy. 

At HASSL, we’re here to make public spaces safer and shift the responsibility for safety from individuals to society as a whole. Understanding incel culture and its impacts on society ties into our mission to foster a world where everyone feels respected and protected in public spaces. By tackling complex social dynamics, we’re working to change narratives around harassment, safety, and social accountability, empowering people to stand up for a safer, more inclusive world.

Together, we can create a society that prioritises respect, empathy, and collective responsibility for safety—one step at a time.