"The Girlboss is Dead - and She Was Never Invited to the Boys’ Club Anyway"

Stop telling women to be more confident. It’s time to fix the systems burning them out, locking them out, and blaming them for it.

The "girlboss" was once held up as the symbol of modern feminism: a savvy, stylish woman climbing the corporate ladder with nothing but grit and a killer LinkedIn bio.

She represented empowerment, hustle, and the idea that women could smash glass ceilings if they just worked hard enough. But in recent years, the girlboss has fallen out of favour. Why?

Because she was never the solution - she was a symptom of a much deeper problem.

Behind the hashtags and curated success stories was a workplace culture that hadn’t really changed. Women were still being paid less, passed over for promotions, harassed, gaslit, and told to "lean in" harder.

Burnout rates among women skyrocketed, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. A 2021 report by McKinsey & LeanIn.org found that women were significantly more burned out than men - and the gap had doubled since 2020. (McKinsey & LeanIn, 2021).

The Confidence Myth

Much of the mainstream advice aimed at professional women still centres on individual behaviour: be more confident, speak up more, network better. But these suggestions overlook a critical truth: women aren’t failing to succeed because they lack confidence. They’re operating in systems that actively work against them.

Consider the classic advice to "build your network."

Networking can absolutely be useful. But telling women to simply network their way into leadership roles ignores the reality that many influential spaces - the so-called "boys’ clubs" - are not accessible to them in the first place.

From backroom deals to golf course meetings, power is often exchanged behind closed doors women were never invited into.

This isn’t a matter of women needing to try harder. It’s a matter of workplaces needing to change.

Burnout Is a Systemic Issue

Burnout isn’t caused by a lack of resilience. It’s caused by chronic workplace stress, poor leadership, lack of support, and inequitable expectations. And it disproportionately affects women, particularly women of colour, disabled women, and LGBTQIA+ employees.

In fact, research shows that women in leadership are not only more likely to experience burnout, but they’re also more likely to support DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) efforts, mentor junior employees, and take on the so-called "office housework" - all of which go unrewarded and unrecognised.

When systems punish those who push for change or carry extra burdens, it’s no wonder so many women are stepping back, dropping out, or choosing self-employment over toxic workplaces.

This isn’t a lack of ambition. It’s a rejection of a broken model.

Real Empowerment Looks Different

So what does real empowerment look like? It starts with moving away from performative feminism and toward structural change. Here are a few ideas:

1. Redesign the Workplace
Flexible hours, fair parental leave, and hybrid options aren’t perks - they’re essential. Workplaces must accommodate caregiving responsibilities without penalising employees for having lives outside the office.

2. Address Bias and Harassment
Whether it's the wage gap, leadership disparities, or microaggressions, bias remains a major barrier. Training is important, but accountability and enforcement matter more.

3. Fix the Feedback Loop
Women often receive vague or personality-based feedback, while men receive actionable advice. This pattern reinforces the idea that women aren’t capable of growth - and it stifles advancement. Clear, constructive feedback must become standard.

4. Diversify Leadership
Representation isn’t just about numbers. It’s about influence. When leadership reflects a wider range of voices, decisions are more inclusive and innovative. Diversity in leadership should be measured, prioritised, and baked into company goals.

5. End the Confidence Obsession
Stop measuring women against a male standard of assertiveness. Confidence looks different across cultures, genders, and personalities. Instead of fixing women, fix the cultures that undervalue their contributions.

What You Can Do (Even If You’re Not the CEO)

Not everyone has the power to rewrite policies or lead structural overhauls - but everyone can do something:

• If you’re a manager: Audit your team’s workloads. Who’s being asked to take notes, plan parties, or cover gaps? Are you rewarding emotional labour and mentoring the same way you reward sales or output?
• If you’re in HR: Push for inclusive hiring panels and transparent promotion processes. Advocate for anti-harassment policies with real teeth.
• If you’re a coworker: Amplify women’s ideas in meetings. Call out interruptions. Sponsor, don’t just mentor.
• If you’re a woman feeling the pressure: You’re not imagining it. The system is flawed. Seek allies, set boundaries, and know that opting out of burnout culture is an act of strength, not failure.

The Bottom Line

The girlboss era was built on the promise that women could thrive in systems not built for them. But thriving shouldn’t mean working twice as hard to earn half the respect. And empowerment shouldn’t mean emulating a broken model of success.

We don’t need more girlbosses. We need better workplaces. Ones that value wellbeing over burnout, equity over ego, and real change over catchy slogans.

Until then, no amount of confidence is going to change the fact that the boys’ club was never meant to include us.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t build something better.

Sources:

• McKinsey & LeanIn.org, Women in the Workplace (2021, 2023)
• UN Women Gender Social Norms Index (2023)
• Harvard Business Review, "Women Get Less Feedback And Get Less Useful Feedback" (2019)
  
  

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