Not a Monster, Not Sick: Just a Perfect Son of the Patriarchy

Content Warning: This article contains accounts of sexual and gender-based violence. Please take care while reading. Support resources are available at the end of this article.

When Giulia Cecchettin was brutally murdered in November 2023 by her ex-boyfriend, Italy didn’t just lose a young woman full of promise, it was forced to stare into a mirror, and finally, some saw what had always been there: not a monstrous aberration, not a sick exception, but a system, a cultural machine designed to excuse male violence, protect male entitlement, and sacrifice female lives in silence.

Giulia’s name joined a long, endless list, but her murder hit differently, maybe because she was days away from graduating, maybe because she had planned to start a new life, or maybe because her sister, Elena, refused to stay silent, calling out the patriarchal system that birthed the man who killed her, "He was not a monster", she said, trembling but clear, "He is the healthy son of patriarchy", and she got constantly attacked after her statements, she became a turning point of the event, people - men - once again confirmed themselves to not care about people, about women, about injustice, they attacked her for speaking out about her sister's rights, they invented that she wanted attention, that she wanted to gain fame and rode the wave and that the father, Gino Cecchettin, being always present, only wanted to get money and that he was "exaggerating" by requesting that the government would do something, that he acted, not only for his now dead daughter, but that he did so for all those who would come after her,  and give justice to those who had come before and found no peace and justice.

This wasn't a crime of passion, this was not about love gone wrong, this was femicide, a brutal expression of control, entitlement, and the belief that women belong to men, that saying no is a crime worthy of death, in Italy alone, more than 120 women were killed in 2023,  around  140 in 2024, and just in the first six months of 2025, more than 40 feminicides were recorded, according to data from the national "Non Una di Meno Observatory", plus at least 29 attempted femicides and numerous cases of gender-based violence involving women of all ages.

The overwhelming majority were murdered by current or former partners or family members. (Source: Italian Ministry of the Interior, 2023) We are not talking about isolated cases, we are talking about a systemic war on women, silent, normalized, and every day.

In classrooms, girls are still taught how to avoid harassment, how not to provoke, how to stay small and polite, boys are rarely taught consent, respect, or accountability, the media still dares to ask what a woman was wearing, what a child was doing, still portrays killers as “heartbroken", “fragile", “provoked", "misunderstood", and then it idolizes the murderer.

Patriarchy doesn't just kill women, it grooms men to kill them, it teaches boys that love equals possession, that emotions must be suppressed, that power equals control, it mocks empathy as weakness, glorifies jealousy, and normalizes stalking and obsessing as "romantic persistence".

It is in our laws that are too soft, our courts that blame victims, our headlines that dehumanize women, our silence that allows everything to repeat, this culture doesn’t change because of one murder, ten or a hundred, it changes when we decide it must, when we name femicide for what it is, when we stop excusing men as sick anomalies and start holding systems accountable.

Giulia was not a symbol, she was a person, a sister, a daughter, a student, a friend, her blood should not be the ink that writes yet another forgotten story, let it be a scream, let it be the match that lights the fire.

And if you're reading this and you're uncomfortable, good, you should be, the only thing more terrifying than male violence is a society that lets it go unchecked.

If I don’t answer your calls tomorrow, mum.

If I don’t tell you I won’t be back for dinner.

If tomorrow, the taxi does not appear.

Maybe I’m wrapped in hotel sheets, on a street or in a black bag, maybe I’m in a suitcase or lost on the beach.

Don’t be afraid, mother, if you see that I have been stabbed.

Don’t scream when you see that they dragged me by the hair.

Dear mother, don’t cry if you find out that they impaled me.

They’ll tell you it was me, that I didn’t scream enough, that it was the way I was dressed, the alcohol in my blood.

They’ll tell you it was right, that I was alone.

That my psychopath ex had reasons, that I was unfaithful, that I was a whore.

They will tell you that I lived, mother, that I dared to fly very high in a world without air.

I swear to you, mother, I died fighting.

I swear to you, my dear mother, I screamed as loudly as I flew high.

You’ll remember me, mum, you’ll know I ruined it when you face all the women screaming my name.

Because I know, mum, you won’t stop.

But, for goodness’ sake, don’t tie up my sister.

Don’t lock up my cousins, don’t lock up your nieces.

It’s not your fault, mum, it wasn’t even mine.

It’s them, it will always be them.

Fight for your wings, those wings that cut me off.

Fight for them, so that they can be free to fly higher than me.

Fight so they can scream louder than me.

So that they can live without fear, mother, just like I lived.

Mum, don’t cry my ashes.

If tomorrow it’s me, if I don’t come back tomorrow, mother, destroy everything.

If it’s my turn tomorrow, I want to be the last.”

- Peruvian poet and activist Cristina Torres Cáceres and her poem: 

“Si mañana me toca, quiero ser la última”

Support Resources: If you’ve been affected by any of the experiences mentioned in this article, you are not alone or to blame. Support is available:

• RAINN: Offers confidential support, crisis intervention and information for survivors
• National Sexual Assault Helpline: Provides free, confidential support for survivors
• The Survivors Trust: Network of specialist sexual violence support services

Th samaritan Onlus:

Samaritans OdV |https://share.google/BHoBm9qiC54HRN0Qd

Sources:

Italian Ministry of the Interior (2023)

Global Campus of Human Rights (2023)

UN Women (2022) denouncing violence against women: a battle cry, an anthem

Disclaimer:

This article has been written by a HASSL Ambassador as part of our community content initiative. While all ambassador contributions are reviewed for clarity, tone, and alignment with our values before publication, the views expressed are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the views or official position of HASSL.

These articles are intended to amplify personal perspectives, lived experiences, and knowledge from our wider community. They are not authored by the HASSL team, and HASSL does not claim ownership over the content.

Please note that the information provided is for general awareness and educational purposes only. It should not be taken as professional, medical, or legal advice. If you require support or guidance in any of these areas, we strongly recommend consulting a qualified professional