Men in Feminism: You’re Invited to the Conversation. Allyship Isn’t Optional.

Here’s Why Your Voice Matters (and How to Use It)

Let’s get one thing clear from the start: feminism isn’t just for women.

Feminism, at its core, is about equality - social, political, and economic. If you believe that people, regardless of gender, deserve equal rights and opportunities, you’re already aligned with feminist values.

But belief alone isn’t enough. Allyship is active. And when it comes to dismantling a system that benefits men by default, we need men in the room, at the table, and on the mic - using their voices to push for change.

“If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.”

This line from Scottish comedian Daniel Sloss has stuck with millions. In his Netflix special ‘X’, Sloss boldly speaks about toxic masculinity, the bystander effect, and how men must hold other men accountable.

It’s not what you’d expect from a comedy show - and maybe that’s the point. His stand-up doesn’t just land because it’s funny; it lands because it’s true. In addressing the epidemic of sexual assault and gendered violence, he puts it plainly: men must do better. And he’s right.

“We don’t need more women to speak up. We need more men to listen, and then speak to each other.” - Daniel Sloss, X, 2019

His message cuts to the heart of the issue: when men stay silent in the face of misogyny, they enable it. When they laugh off inappropriate comments or ignore a friend’s controlling behavior, they signal complicity.

Feminism needs male allies not to lead the movement, but to help dismantle the barriers from within.

Why Men Need to Be Part of the Feminist Conversation

1. Men still hold the power in most spaces.
Whether it’s boardrooms, politics, media, or tech, men dominate leadership positions globally. According to UN Women (2024), only 26% of parliamentary seats worldwide are held by women. This imbalance isn’t just unfair - it’s unsustainable. When men advocate for gender equality within these structures, change accelerates.

2. Gender inequality harms everyone.
Patriarchy doesn’t just oppress women - it boxes men in too. The pressure to “man up,” suppress emotions, and dominate socially or sexually creates cycles of shame, aggression, and isolation. The Good Men Project and studies from the American Psychological Association highlight how rigid gender norms contribute to poor mental health outcomes for men. Feminism offers liberation for all genders.

3. Male allyship helps shift cultural norms.
People are more likely to listen to peers. When men speak out against sexist jokes, challenge the normalisation of catcalling, or call out a friend for toxic behavior, they interrupt the cycle. Culture is built on micro-moments. Allyship isn’t just about grand gestures - it’s often quiet, consistent resistance.

 

So, What Does Good Allyship Look Like?

Here are tangible ways men can show up in feminist spaces - and in everyday life.

1. Listen. And then listen more.

Men aren’t expected to be experts on women’s experiences. But they are expected to learn. Read books like Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez, follow feminist creators and activists on social media, and listen without defensiveness when someone shares their story.

2. Speak up in male-dominated spaces.

Use your privilege to call out harmful behaviour when it’s safest for you to do so. That means challenging the locker-room talk, interrupting sexist jokes, and setting new norms among your peers. Remember: your silence is noted.

3. Reflect on your own behaviour.

Ask yourself hard questions: Have I ever made someone feel uncomfortable? Do I interrupt women in meetings? Have I stayed friends with someone who’s known to mistreat women? No one is perfect, but accountability is part of growth.

4. Don’t make it about you.

Allyship is not an identity - it’s a practice. Avoid centring yourself when discussing issues of gender inequality. Instead of “I would never do that,” try “That’s awful. How can I support you?” Show up with humility, not heroism.

5. Amplify women’s voices.

Give credit. Cite women in meetings. Share their work. Invite them to speak. Support female-led projects. If a woman is being interrupted or ignored, redirect the conversation back to her. These moments matter.

The Difference Between Being Nice and Being an Ally

You can be a “nice guy” and still uphold harmful systems. Feminism doesn’t ask for niceness - it asks for action. A good ally challenges not just strangers but their friends, family, and colleagues. It can feel uncomfortable at times - but real growth always is.

As Sloss says in X, most men don’t think of themselves as bad people. But too many men “have heard stories from women about sexual assault and harassment - and stayed friends with the guy who did it.”

Being a bystander is being complicit. Feminist allyship means you stop brushing things off and start being the interruption.

Final Thoughts: You're Already Invited

Men, this is your invitation to the conversation - but more importantly, it’s a call to action. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to have all the answers. But you do need to show up.

Because when you speak, others like you listen. And when enough men start doing that - when allyship becomes a norm rather than a niche, we begin to build a world that’s safer, fairer, and freer for everyone.

So next time you’re in the room, don’t stay silent. Be the guy who says, “That’s not okay.” Be the one who listens, learns, and speaks up. Be part of the solution.

Because allyship isn’t optional. It’s urgent.

Sources:

• UN Women, “Facts and figures: Leadership and political participation” (2024)
• APA, “Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men”
• Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women
• The Good Men Project (www.goodmenproject.com)
• Daniel Sloss, X, Netflix (2019)

Disclaimer:

This article has been written by a HASSL Ambassador as part of our community content initiative. While all ambassador contributions are reviewed for clarity, tone, and alignment with our values before publication, the views expressed are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the views or official position of HASSL.

These articles are intended to amplify personal perspectives, lived experiences, and knowledge from our wider community. They are not authored by the HASSL team, and HASSL does not claim ownership over the content.

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