An Open Letter to all Male Supporters in Women’s Sport

Dear fellow guys,

If you are a male member of staff within women’s sport, then I beg you to please read this letter. Regardless of what level of sport you are involved in (from amateur grassroots to professional), what your role is, how influential your role is, or how involved you may or may not be. Even if you are just an avid watcher on the sidelines, your support could make all the difference. If you are reading this, then you will know a woman involved within sport to some degree. 

I am speaking to you man to man, from one fan of women’s sport to another. Firstly, I want to thank you for being better than the men who are against women playing sports! The very fact that you are here engaging and supporting women’s sport is a credit to who you are as a person. It is vital that we are here helping to fight the battle for women’s sport, to increase inclusivity and equality not just within sport, but within our world as well. Women have been doing the heavy lifting of this for so long and have done incredibly well despite the odds that men and society have stacked against them. Now it is time for us to join the fight and change how men see women’s sport.

We need to continue to do better with how we are supporting women’s sport and most importantly, the women participating within sport. Whether you are a partner, son, brother, cousin, friend or just a sports fan in general, there’s always something we can do to learn more about women and their needs within sport. I implore you to speak to the women in your life, regardless of if they participate in sport or not. From them, we can learn how to best support women’s sport and those who participate. My advice to you would be to treat them how they would want to be treated as a person, not just a sports participant. At the end of the day, they are people before sports participants – the same with male participants. 

Additionally, women and men are different in various ways from our anatomy to how our brains work. The biggest lesson I have learned as a male coach within women’s sport is that the female participants are different to male participants and you shouldn’t walk into the sport with the same expectations as you would for men’s sport. This is most evident for performance, but what surprised me the most was that it’s the little things during training and behind the scenes where we need to change our expectations. If you are a coach, you will need to adapt your delivery and communication for female participants – especially if you are coming from coaching male sport. Whilst there is no set way to coach anyone (regardless of gender) because we are all different and have different needs, there is a clear difference in how to coach male and female participants. From my experiences, male participants like to get straight to action and learn by doing; whereas female participants often like to understand the why behind what they are doing before starting. Another difference I have experienced, and this was my biggest learning curve as a coach, is that it is even more evident in sport men are told to hide their emotions whereas women have been encouraged to display their emotions. Sport has always been a representation of society, and this aspect is the most comparative in my opinion. When facing disappointment and pain (often from losing or an injury), men often try to hide their inner emotions or display aggression in some form. However, as women are encouraged to display emotion, they often do show their emotion during these times. It is VITAL that this space for emotion is respected and not taken away; it is often a way of how women process what they are going through. 

One thing that we, as men, must remember are the differences in how men and women are treated within society. As I have already stated prior, sport is reflective of society and that men often show some form of aggression when facing disappointment or loss. Such an environment can be at best uncomfortable, and at worst very dangerous and triggering for women to be around. Unfortunately, almost every woman will have suffered a man’s aggression at some point during their life, and it can often be life threatening. As men we must do better to not only stop men from displaying acts of violence and aggression towards women, but to also ensure that we provide a safe and comforting environment for women. One of the biggest lessons my partner has taught me is that it doesn’t take a lot to trigger someone’s past trauma, even something as small as being frustrated can feel uncomfortable to women. That is why, as male supporters, we must learn how to control our emotions and display them in a safe way. By doing this, it can make all the difference for women and help them to enjoy playing sports as much as possible. 

There are some really easy steps we can take to better our support and to transform sport into the truly inclusive and equal place it should be: 

• Education
• Allyship
• Hype
• Volunteer
• Change expectations
  

Education

As I have stated already, it is important that we speak to the women in our lives to learn more about them and how to best support them. There is currently a massive gulf of research between men’s and women’s sport and the lack of research into female anatomy is taking its toll. Every year there are more and more Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) injuries in women’s sport and the current research isn’t able to provide an answer into why. This is just one example of why more research is needed on the impact of sports participation on women’s bodies. 

Additionally, we need to actively listen when women are telling us about the issues they are facing within their sport. Be the safe place they desire and just listen. As men, it is our instinct to protect and solve problems, but sometimes a solution isn’t what is desired. Sometimes all they want is to just be heard and for their struggle to be appreciated for what it is.

Allyship

This is the biggest and most important task for us as male supporters. It can be uncomfortable and hard challenging people about their misogynistic views, but we NEED to start doing this on a regular basis! Don’t let misogyny be passed off as “but it’s just a joke” -  some men do actually mean what they are saying, but don’t want to be caught. Some men know what they are saying and want to cause harm because they see women as inferior. Even if it is just a joke… someone’s right to be included and be treated as an equal isn’t something that should be joked about. To do so is to make someone feel inferior and that is never okay. 

Furthermore, don’t let society settle for women’s sport not getting the same treatment as men’s sport. Whether that’s at a professional level where women’s sport is given less TV coverage and less funding, or at an amateur level where a club gives the men’s team the best opportunities and the women’s team the bare minimum (sometimes not even that). Women’s sport deserves to be given an equal opportunity to thrive, and this should not be governed by how much profit is made. At the very least, if you support a club that has a men’s team… you should also be following the women’s team as well. You cannot say you support a club if you only follow one team – a club is bigger than just one team!

Hype

“This is a movement, not a moment” – Susie Wolff, F1: The Academy

If you really want to support women’s sport, then get out there and attend live events. Women’s sport is always far cheaper to attend than men’s sport and we should use this to our advantage whilst we can. Take a friend with you, introduce someone new to women’s sport… I can guarantee they will not regret it, not for the price it costs. A season ticket to watch every game of the Leicester Tigers women’s team costs just £28, that’s often less than a standing ticket to just one game for the men’s team. The more people we can get down to live events whilst it’s cheap, the greater we can increase the hype around women’s sport. 

If you can’t attend a live event, then see if you can find any TV or online livestreaming coverage to watch. Every viewer is important and massively appreciated within women’s sport as it helps to grow hype. Another way to interact with women’s sport is to help grow the online presence – follow the teams you support and share their posts. Your interaction is seen and appreciate much more than you may realise, even at the top level. Additionally, young girls cannot aspire to be sports stars if they are not able to see that it is possible. By sharing and increasing the online presence of women’s sport, you helping to inspire the next generation of women’s and girl’s sport.

Volunteer

If you are able to give your time to women’s sport and want to make more of an impact, then consider volunteering within the sport you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be helping to coach/run a team, even just volunteering on the day to help things run smoothly can make all the difference. From my own experiences as a coach, even just having someone to help organise things on the day is a huge relief and one less task that I had to do. For those women’s teams/events that lack support from within their club/society, having someone volunteer to organise things behind the scenes will be massively appreciated! A lot of women who participate in sport are also mothers and are expected to look after their children whilst still participating – just one additional parent/guardian who looks after the children whilst the rest participate can make all the difference on the day.

Change Expectations

As I have stated throughout… women’s and men’s sport are different entities and therefore, the expectations are to be different. It is not fair to compare women’s sport to the same expectations as men’s sport for a multitude of reasons. 

Firstly and most importantly, women’s sport is its own entity and image and therefore should have its own expectations. To hold women’s sport to the same standards as men’s sport is equivalent to saying that women’s sport (and therefore women) must be the same as men’s sport (and therefore men). This is a dangerous message to portray as it prevents women from being what they want to be. 

Secondly, men’s sport has had decades (sometimes centuries) longer to develop and understandably has very high expectations, especially at a professional level; whereas women’s sport has been banned for decades and has stunted their development. It is unrealistic to expect the same standards of men’s and women’s sport, and to do so is to set women’s sport up to fail. Similarly, the anatomy of men and women are different and therefore, what each other’s body is capable of differs. 

Thirdly, societal expectations of what a woman is and is capable of needs to change. Women rightly have a place within sport and can achieve whatever they set their minds to. The best way we can change these societal expectations is by showcasing what women can do and by not blindly following what others think. Do not walk into women’s sport expecting the participants to be ‘dainty’ and ‘soft’ just because that’s what society has told you women’s sport is like. There are many strong women within and outside of sport who deserve to be celebrated for how amazing they are. Furthermore, just because a woman is strong and has muscles, it doesn’t mean she’s not feminine – women can have both muscles and wear makeup, and at the same time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope it has been both insightful and educational in equal measure. Together we can help grow women’s sport as the amazing product that it is and continue to grow the inclusivity and equality of both sport and society as a whole.

Kind regards,
David Kennedy

HASSL Ambassador and Male Ally,
Sports Coach and Analyst.

Disclaimer:

This article has been written by a HASSL Ambassador as part of our community content initiative. While all ambassador contributions are reviewed for clarity, tone, and alignment with our values before publication, the views expressed are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the views or official position of HASSL.

These articles are intended to amplify personal perspectives, lived experiences, and knowledge from our wider community. They are not authored by the HASSL team, and HASSL does not claim ownership over the content.

Please note that the information provided is for general awareness and educational purposes only. It should not be taken as professional, medical, or legal advice. If you require support or guidance in any of these areas, we strongly recommend consulting a qualified professional.